Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Extracts from a Republican Phrase Book (of sometime in the not too distant future)

I cannot believe in the 21st century, their is still the concept of the monarchy still in operation in Britain. In this time of recession and cut backs, would someone explain how the government is able to confiscate our money and give it the royal family. What are this families uses, if any at all.
This family recently secretly lobbied to recieve even more money from government fundsset up to help people on low incomes.
Their essentially a family of thieves, hey ho. Part of our long tradition and everything.
Time perhaps for and end?

CIVIL LIST: Organised freebies on a massive scale. See also Tax dodges.

COURT CORRESPONDENT: Lackey, servile person.See also Eunuch.

CROWN: Symbol of sporting success, e.g. Heavyweight Crown,Triple Crown.

CROWN JEWELS: Booty; ill-gotten gains; stolen goods.

DUKE: John Wayne.

EMPEROR: Large penguin or butterfly.

EMPIRE: Territory of large penguin (or butterfly)

KING: Term of adulation bestowed on those who have given great pleasure, e.g. Elvis Presley; Barry John; John Charles.

MONARCH: Type of butterfly, also head of politically immature state.

MONARCHY: System of government favoured by politically immature people in which the head of state is determined by an accident of birth.( Constititutional Monarchy: A contradiction in terms.)

NOBILITY: Descendants of minor thieves and murderers.

PRINCE: Adrogynous US pop star.

PRINCE OF WALES: Popular pub name, also person without purpose.

PRINCESS: Expensive clothes horse.

QUEEN: Pop group of decadent style.

QUEENMUMGODBLESSER: Deceased, fantastic pensioner created by tabloid journalists.

ROYALTY: Descendants of major thieves and murderers. See also The Mafia and Freemasonry.

ROYAL WATCHER: Member of worthless profession. See also Disc Jockey, Estate Agent, Stockbroker.

SUBJECT: Person better described as object.

THRONE: Seat; toilet seat (vulgar), see also:
Heir to the throne:Next in line for toilet.
Heir apparent:Only person waiting outside toilet.
Heir presumptive:Person who thinks he should always be first in the queue for the toilet.
Loyalty to the throne:constipation.


  1. Surely you're not advocating President Cameron?
    I'm not a royalist by any means, but it's far far far preferable to the alternative thanx.


  2. definetely not............ I know what you mean though, when you put it like that, my mind is shuddering at the mere thought, think I will probably have nightmares now. regards. xx

  3. But hey folks I have never heard of David Cameron espousing republican belief , so the prospects of him choosing to be President are very slim indeed, and besides Presidents can be deposed.