The Madness of Language - Anahita Alikhani

English is the most widely spoken language in the world, and is taught in every country.But  spoken and colloquial English is very different from the polite language which is taught in schools. For somebody like myself, encountering the everyday language when we arrive in Britain can be very perplexing. For example, I've discovered there is one word which can be used to express a huge range of feelings as varied as anger, disgust, happinness, joy, astonishement, drunkeness and so on.
An imaginary meeting between a foreign newcomer and a native of Britain can go smething like this:
- Where are you from?
- Persia
-Where  the ****ing hell is Persia?
- In Asia.
- Oh! ****ing long way from home!
- Oh yes!
- Hows the weather there ?
- Warm and nice.
- Oh ! ****ing brilliant! What the **** are you doing here?
- I'm a refugee.
- Oh, ****ing asylum seekers! Pain in the ****!
- Excuse me, do you have a problem? Do you have piles?
- **** ***!!!
-Excuse me, does this word mean yes or no?
- It means move your ****ing **** and go to hell!
I can imagine that in a hundred years or so, as the language evolves, this word might be used even more widely, for example on the news:
" This morning Her ****ing Majesty the ****ing Queen opened her ****ing Jubilee Celebrations..."

Saesneg yw'r iaith a siaredir fwyaf yn y byd i gyd, ac fe gaiff ei dysgu ymhob gwlad. Ond mae Saesneg Llafar, taodiethol, yn wahanol iawn i'r iaith lednais a ddysgir mewn ysgolion. I rywun fel fi, yn dod ar draws yr iaith bob-dydd wrth gyrraed Prydain, mae'n gallu bod yn ddryslyd iawn. Er enghraifft, rwyf wedi darganfod bod un gair y gellir ei ddefnyddio i fynegi ystod enfawr o deimladau amrywiol: dicter; ffiend-dra; hapursrwydd; gorfoledd; syndod; meddwdod, ac yn y blaen.
Gall cyfarfod dychmygol rhwng newydd-ddyfodiad o dramor a brodor o Brydain fynd rhywbeth fel hyn:
- O ble ti'n dod ?
- Persia
-
- Ble'r **** mae Persia?
- Yn Asia.
- O! **** o ffordd bell oddi cartre!
- O, ie!
- Sut mae'r tywydd acw?
- Twym a braf.
- O! ****** brilliant! Be'r **** wyt t'in wneud yma?
- Ffoadur ydw i.
- O ****** ceiswyr lloches! Poen yn y pen ol!
- Mae'n ddrwg gen i, oes gennych chi broblem? Oes clwyf y
marchogion gyda chi?
- ***** ***!!!
- Mae'n ddrwg gen i, ydy'r gair hwn yn golygu ie neu nage?
- Mae'n golygu symud dy ****** hun a dos o 'ma!
Gallaf ddychmygu, ymhen rhyw ganrif, fel y mae'r iaith yn esblygu, y caiff y gair hwn ei ddenyddio hyd yn oed yn fyw cang. Ar y newyddion, er enghraifft: " Y bore 'ma, fe agorrodd Ei ******
Mawrhydi y ****** Frenhines ei ****** dathliadau Jiwbili ..."

FROM : Gwyl y Blaidd/ The Festival of the Wolf.
Parthian 2006
in conjunction with hafan books, which provides outlet in Wales for the creativity of refugees, asylum, seekers and their supporters and to raise awareness.
SWANSEA BAY ASYLUM SEEKERS SUPPORT GROUP
is primary bebeficiary and can be contacted below.
http://www.hafan.org/

Have a happy Easter if your into that type of thing,
and remember remove all borders.